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6 days until Christmas

Merry Christmas
News Headline: “Santa suspect robs pharmacy, steals opiates.”
News Headline: “Strip club wins best holiday lights contest.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

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60606

60606 Cover
Last chance for holiday gift orders of  the QT comic thriller e-book 60606.
Click this sentence to set your own price and order.
A brief gift excerpt for you:

. . . A few things you might want to know about me, or maybe not. I live where the Chicago White Sox play and the Chicago Symphony plays better. I work as a newspaper reporter, which means I gaze and sometimes gape for a living, although I try not to let my jaw drop. The byline, it says in the Chicago Times library, which was called a morgue in happier days, is Mike Gallery. So what I do is gaze and gape and take notes and then arrange the notes into sentences, which are arranged in editions of the Times and sent out on the streets, not to mention the Internet, so everyone can know. This makes me a gazer and gaper who gossips, unless I’m working something investigative, which makes me a sneak who gazes and gapes and gossips. The Pulitzer Board announces the most distinguished of us each April. . . .

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QT Grammar R Us Seminar on the English Language

Kriss Kringle
News Headline: “One more chance to mingle with Kris Kringle at the Santa House.”
F.B., a New York City reader, reminds us that it isn’t Kris Kringle, but Kriss Kringle.
Ho, Ho, Ho!

WRITE TO QT:  qt@zaysmith.com

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Should we celebrate with a tea party?

TARP
News Item: “The U.S. government essentially closed the books on TARP with a $15.3 billion profit. Treasury sold its remaining shares Friday in Ally Financial, its last remaining major stake from the $426 billion bailout of banks and the U.S. auto industry. . . . GM, Chrysler and many car dealers likely would have gone out of business without the government’s help. . . .”
For those keeping track of intrusive government spending programs that never work.

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7 days until christmas

Santa Smoking
News Headline: “Police bust pot delivery disguised as Christmas presents.”
News Headline: “Pot-smoking Santa removed after complaints.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

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The universe and related matters in the news

Fleeting Moment

News Headline: “We may be an insignificant and fleeting moment in time. . . and we know it.”
Hey. Headline writers have their moods, too.

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Biding its time. . . .

Buddy
News Item: “. . . .incident happened when Fipps and two employees stopped to remove chains from the front of his pickup truck. . . . Fipps’ dog was in the front seat, and he ordered the dog to get in back. A .300 Winchester Magnum was on the back seat. . . The sheriff said the dog somehow caused the weapon to discharge. . . . a bullet fired from the gun hit the victim in the arm. . . .”
Once again:
How well do you know your dog?
How well, really?

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This just in. . . .

Texas Truck
News Headline: “Texas plumber’s truck shows up in Syria with guns mounted on it.”
It’s a small world, after all.

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Where is Team America when we need it?

The Interview
News Headline: “Hackers win: Sony pulls release of ‘The Interview.’ ”
Satire used to be what closes on Saturday night.
But at least we weren’t afraid to let it open.

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8 days until Christmas

Rudolph and Sleigh
News Headline:
“Christmas thieves targeting cars.”
News Headline: “Rudolph the reindeer destroys Santa’s sleigh.”
Ho, Ho, Ho!

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